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What Do Men & Women Look for in the Perfect Partner

What exactly do men and women look for in the perfect partner ?
This is the result of a new survey involving 1,000s of people in the UK.
The results being more interesting than they first seem.

What struck me about this was, it was not the usual ‘pick a celebrity’ or pick parts of well known people and stick them together.
Men were asked to pick the things that mattered most to them and where facts and figures such as height and income etc could be added then to do so.
The results were then collated and a very clear picture emerged, the main points outstripping others by a country mile.

A national newspaper took the results of the ‘ideal woman’ and set about trying to find a match to all the most popular results. The result will be seen as very predictable by women and before our female readers groan - stay with it.

Here is the supposed ideal woman based on the survey

Q: Who is the Perfect Woman ?
A: Malene Espensen !

She fits all the most important criteria laid down by men, and no before you say it, it’s not just visual aspects though clearly they must have been strong on the list.

What is more interesting is the results of what the women wanted.
They could not really pin down somebody to fulfil the criteria and provide a picture !
British women came up with many requirements but three main ones stood out massively from the rest - wiped the board with ’sense of humour’ ‘nice bum’ and handsome etc

This is what the result was and I kid you not:

    Earn £60,000+ per year
    Drive a Mercedes Benz
    Own their own house in the home counties

I think it raises a serious and interesting point - the differences over this wide ranging survey have produced what most would regard as clichéd results.
But then I’ve always held that clichés and generalizations only persist because they hold a basic truth - they must do by definition.

This once again, to my mind at least, stokes the furnace of my much vaunted Caveman argument.

I think these results show an underlying truth, I believe much of it is subliminal and natural.
Not connivingly conceived. For example a women drawn to a rich man is labelled a gold digger, this is unfair as for many it is not a conscious thought or scheme it’s just that some women find this aspect subliminally attractive.

Likewise with men. If you look at Malene in another way, she shows all the aspects of being a perfect mate with whom to breed ! I know this sounds strange but it is standard in the animal kingdom and natural world and I feel it still applies genetically to us today as it did in Neanderthal times.

The good news is I get one of the three requirements that women are looking for !
The bad news is 1 out 3 ain’t good - to paraphrase Meatloaf.

I open this up to opinions but suggest they are wide ranging and take in the overall, rather than being specific to just your own or one opinion.

What exactly are we looking for in each other ? Being honest as well not ethereal !


  1. Jordan said,

    March 18, 2008 @ 9:43 am


    The perfect partner, I would have to say, do they really exist? :-o

    A good sense of humour, what is this? Do I need to live with Billy Connelly?
    A nice bum? Brad Pitt and George, form a queue quietly.
    Handsome…. See above
    Earn £60k pa….. See above
    Drive a Merc …. No, more style needed pleeeease, see above.
    Own their own home in the HC. No, several in exotic climates. See above.

    From my own very exacting criteria, I will be destined to live a lonely life, never finding the perfect partner.
    Another resident of the Goldeneye Nursing Home


  2. Rod said,

    March 18, 2008 @ 10:03 am

    I’ll book you a place in the Goldeneye Retirement Home :)

  3. Witches of Eastwick said,

    March 18, 2008 @ 10:40 am

    Rod and Jordan,

    The perfect partner, so our mortal friends tell us, would have to be one that isn’t there much :)


  4. Rod said,

    March 18, 2008 @ 10:48 am

    I hear that !
    Everything is best in small doses :)

  5. Jordan said,

    March 18, 2008 @ 10:55 am

    Here, here

  6. Witches of Eastwick said,

    March 18, 2008 @ 12:54 pm


    We think we’ll settle for Malene when all’s said and done. How can we go wrong so long as she’s willing to do the majority of the housework and some of the cooking…. socialize with our friends and introduce us to some of hers. While she’s appraising herself of the set up, we’ll be pursuing dear Colin…. not that she’ll mind of course. The down side might be that you would be turning up unannounced all the time :) Still if she can carry logs and hold a decent conversation, she’ll do nicely…. we’ll send her a proposal in the post tout suite. When she catches sight of our estate and various hangers-on, she’ll be smitten :)


  7. Rod said,

    March 18, 2008 @ 1:10 pm

    strange coincidence that you are drawn toward the lovely Malene

    Personally, I’m leaning more toward the guy on £60k+, a big Merc and a house in Surrey, when you get to my age it’s more about security than physical attraction :)

  8. Femme Fatale said,

    March 18, 2008 @ 3:09 pm

    Thought you would eventually warm to “The Gay Scene”. ;)


  9. Rod said,

    March 18, 2008 @ 4:05 pm

    I wouldn’t go as far as warming to it, it would have to be purely platonic :)

  10. Witches of Eastwick said,

    March 18, 2008 @ 5:22 pm


    Perhaps you would be kind enough to bring your ‘friend’ around to see us. Mally and the Witches would like that very much and if he suggests taking us for a spin in his latest sporty number, we trust you won’t get jealous :) … having said that, difficult to see how all seven of us could possibly fit into his car, he might have to insist the corsetry be left behind….


  11. the dinosaur said,

    March 18, 2008 @ 7:54 pm

    Rod, if this survey proves one thing, which I’ve suspected for a while, it’s that romance is dead and a thing of the past, sadly it’s all the fault of the ladies !

  12. Rod said,

    March 19, 2008 @ 8:39 am

    I think you’re right and should we be surprised in such a material world …
    That said, I’m reading a book now which is set in the dark ages.

    The richest and most powerful warlords and knights seek young, fair skinned, slim, golden haired girls of viking decent and the girls seek the richest and most powerful men …

    1,500 years ago and it translates excatly to the above survey

  13. Witches of Eastwick said,

    March 19, 2008 @ 4:48 pm


    The fault lies firmly at the feet of the male…. do you know that some men employ the ‘not calling’ tactic in an effort to attract a woman so we’ve heard… the very same men that probably stroll past the florist without a second thought. What’s happened to the art of wooing, that’s what we’d like to know? Gone are the days when a lock of hair might be given… thank goodness too because by the time your average bloke has decided to get down to some serious wooing, the women in question would be bald :)

    When we come back, we’re coming back as men… and we can tell you all that we’ll have the pick of all the women and be fighting duals left, right and centre :)


  14. the dinosaur said,

    March 19, 2008 @ 7:06 pm

    Rod, as an eminent historian, you should consider that if the book in question is only SET in the past and presumably written in our own times, it won’t represent the reality of
    1,500 years ago but our modern interpretation of life then. :)

    WoE, I have a friend who often has a second thought when strolling past a florist and often expresses it out loud, he always says “look at the price of those-what a waste of money!” :)

  15. Rod said,

    March 19, 2008 @ 7:11 pm

    good point - but you’ve missed the one cardinal rule …
    Nothing ever really changes :)

  16. Witches of Eastwick said,

    March 19, 2008 @ 8:49 pm

    Dino and Rod,

    The buying of flowers can’t be a waste of money if it fires the flames of romance :) The least the pair of you could do would be to quote sonnets…. first time we met Rod we wondered what the bulge in his pocket was, could it be sonnets? Alas no, it was his cheque book, clasp firmly locked in case of unnecessary expense :)


  17. Rod said,

    March 20, 2008 @ 8:44 am

    “chocolates and flowers”
    skip the flowers and give them the chocolates, unless they’re edible flowers of course !

    Romance is for the young !
    Forget Shakespeare, balconies and sonnets, for the modern woman read,
    settee, chocolate and soap operas :)

  18. Jordan said,

    March 20, 2008 @ 9:29 am

    Romance is for the young!


    What are you saying? You get into your 30’s and above and that is it? It is no wonder you are single and have trouble with finding a partner of either sex.

    Romance is forever.


  19. Rod said,

    March 20, 2008 @ 10:21 am


    It is no wonder you are single

    60% of married women over 30 said they’d leave their husband if they could afford to
    The average over 30 woman in the UK has put 7 inches on her waist
    Single UK women have the highest rates of sexually transmitted disease in all Europe
    They top the obesity league for all of Europe, average size 16
    The heaviest binge drinkers in Europe

    As you say
    It is no wonder you are single :)


  20. Rod said,

    March 20, 2008 @ 10:22 am

    To All

    Anyone who has the time read this great article

    The resulting storm it cause prompted this follow-up article

    I particularly like his point that women seek to separate attractiveness from personality and humour in other women. That is to say “is your sweet personality inextricably tied to your being a size 16 … like Samson’s strength is to his hair?”

  21. Witches of Eastwick said,

    March 20, 2008 @ 12:32 pm


    Waiting at airports we’ve always been able to spot the Brit. Sometimes we wonder if the British women may have given up due to the lack of any worthwhile British men… it’s all very well presenting yourself as a Barbie but if there’s little chance of meeting any Kens then the incentive is lost. They’ll always be women who look after themselves and get a kick out of comments from their own sex or maybe they just have that much self respect. The over-riding image of the British male for many a woman probably sways between football fanatic to utility ‘I ain’t paying that for a daisy’ type…. how could any woman resist?

    After reading Tad’s reports perhaps a trip to the States could be the answer for you? The Witches have just had a crystal ball flash….. L.A.Story forget it, Wybers Wood Story more like :) Truth is being single in your forties is probably tough where ever you are for all kinds of reasons.


    p.s. You’d be doing Miss Surgically Enhanced a favour by keeping her here in a cold country, less chance of melting :) If you get up one day and find her scowling at you, don’t worry she’s not cross it’s just she’s due another botox shot :) if she’s had the shot and is still scowling then boy are you in trouble….

  22. Rod said,

    March 20, 2008 @ 12:45 pm

    a trip to the US is out I’m afraid, for one reason as a law abiding decent citizen I’ve no desire to be treated as a criminal and be fingerprinted at the airport and then take my place in the FBI files !

    You’re right about British men as well, same thing applies !
    Whadya gonna do ?
    Cheers and happy Easter

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